A Load You Have To Bear
by InvalidAttempt
Summary: Topher is finally going to do the right thing  ten years too late.  A familiar face catches his eye along the way.


Title: A Load You Have To Bear

Characters/Pairings: Slight Topher/Claire, mentions of Bennett, Adelle, and Echo

Spoilers: Slight spoilers for 'Getting Closer', 'The Hollow Men', and heavy spoilers for 'Epitaph Two: The Return'.

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

As he meanders along the walkway, the bag weighs heavy on his back (the weight of the world... Atlas had it easy –his problem was literal.) From up here, he can stare out at the Atrium, watch the new Dolls cross the floor, and it's just like old times. The Dolls have the same vacant expressions, they wear the same bland clothes, and they ask the same meaningless questions. There's just less yoga now.

At the end of the walkway lies the elevator, waiting for him. When he gets there, he'll slide open the doors until the entrance gapes at him like a cavernous jaw, and then he'll have to pull a Frodo. He'll climb up, up, up The Stepss, and then he'll destroy the one thing that has ever meant anything to him. Only he has no Gollum and no faithful gardener, so he'll have to count on himself to resist temptation. That's never really been his strong point, unfortunately.

Out in the atrium, a flash of chestnut brown hair flashes by, and big doe eyes grab his attention. Their owner breaks the constant ebb-and-flow system that governs the moving pattern of the 'free-range bison' (a neat tidy hole from one side clear to the other, don't think_, don't think_, it's a different brunette. Not the same.) She ascends the staircase with the simple elegance of the naive, without the strains and trials of life pulling at her spine and weakening her muscles.

Then she's standing in front of him, The Girl, another one he never saved (he never tried.) Behind her, he can see Adelle gathering her charges together, readying to lead them out into the light like some kind of spiritual leader of yore, guiding them to the light. First, though, he needs to bring the light back, because there's a darkness covering the world that has nothing to do with a lack of rays of energy. It has everything to do with rays and waves, but it's the kind that change people, the kind he perfected, that's created this darkness. And right now, even though he knows that he has to go save the world and be the hero and do the right thing, it all just fades away because she's right there. He has so much to say. He wishes he could remember her name.

She says, "I'm going for a trip."

Maybe once he would have made a joke, a comment about how many drugs the Dolls had going in their system at a time (in the pods, in their food, doctor's orders... there used to be a doctor here.) Instead, he nods agreeably, and replies, "So am I."

"I'm going outside."

The word holds no meaning when she says it. 'Outside' is a completely abstract concept to her. She doesn't know that it means 'freedom'. She doesn't remember.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

There's a lot of interesting facets to that question, in terms of theology. He doesn't know where he's going, really. (Up, down, limbo, burning, pearly gates shining ahead, who knows?) All he knows is what he's doing.

"I'm going to make it better," he answers finally.

She looks into his eyes earnestly. He looks back, but all he sees in The Girl's eyes are shallow depths and blank reflections, none of the fire and anger there once was. He honestly doesn't know which he'd prefer. But then – a spark – and maybe for a moment there is something, and maybe for a second she remembers, because she gives him a little smile and she places her hand over his heart (and another Doll did that once, and she was broken, too, but she was fixing herself and she asked 'did I fall asleep' and he thought _no, you started to wake up and then I anaesthetized the shit out of you to keep you dormant_ but that's all really a metaphor anyway.) She holds her hand there until he covers it with his own larger palm, and then she moves away, drifting down the stairs like nothing happened.

He leans over the banister to watch her as she approaches Adelle, who does a surprised double-take but otherwise doesn't react at all, merely shepherds her into the group as they form an orderly line near the staircase that will lead them out. Soon, she's only one speck of brown hair and pale skin (translucent, even, after almost ten years underground) among dozens of other specks, but still, he can see her.

Topher watches her, and he whispers, "I'm going to fix the world, Claire."

The bag doesn't seem quite as heavy anymore, which is ridiculous because it carries metal and tech and life and death all in one and logically it should weigh so much he can't even lift it, but it's true.

Then he opens the elevator doors and the entrance gapes at him like a cavernous jaw as he had predicted, but the step ladder doesn't lead to Mount Doom anymore, it leads to salvation. Maybe not for him, (that's pretty much guaranteed,) but for everyone else. For the broken Dolls, for Adelle, and for Claire. For Whiskey.

He begins the long climb up.

AN: God, every time I watch this episode I just start to cry.

This is the first thing I've written in the Dollhouse fandom in more than a year, I think. I started up a fic called Epitaph that I never finished, and I do intend to complete it, I just have a couple of obligations in another fandom. Soon, though, I hope to continue. If anyone's interested in helping me beta that, just let me know. It's set after 'The Hollow Men' and covers the years leading up to Epitaph One.


End file.
